I had a panic attack while driving to work one beautiful September morning in 2017. I was initially excited when I hopped into my car, because my very first online telesummit was about to launch that day. At 8 a.m., an email was set to automate to hundreds of people worldwide who had registered to watch this series of interviews of me speaking to a panel of experts. That was the thought that compressed my smile, much like an accordion, and triggered fear.

It was the part about people watching ME speak to a panel of experts. In hindsight, I realized that they didn’t sign up to watch me at all, but that was my mentality at the time. The intense feeling of fear spiraled through my body and caused me to start hyperventilating and sobbing.

Like the ball in a ping pong game, my thoughts raced back and forth:

🧠 What are people going to think?
🧠 What if they judge me?
🧠 Who am I to host a summit?
🧠 I don’t think I’m ready!

Too late, my email was set to blast to my list in less than an hour, and I was stuck behind the wheel driving over the bridge, doing my best to blink the tears out of my eyes so I could see the road before me while doing deep breathing exercises so my body would stop convulsing.

It doesn’t matter whether it’s an online event that you’re hosting or walking into a party where you don’t know many people.

The fear of being judged and possibly rejected is what’s fueling the story that plays out in our minds.

In fact, you could likely trace these same fears of judgement and rejection from when you walked into the cafeteria on the first day of high school, scanning the room for a place to sit.

Worthiness has become an invisible measuring stick that we carry around 24/7 and judge everything against.

📏 I feel funny raising my prices. What if people won’t pay?
📏 I hate doing Facebook lives.
📏 How is everyone else having 10k months? What am I doing wrong?
📏 I don’t have the time or the “know-how” to write that book I’ve always wanted to.

These are just a few things people say to themselves, partly because they’re questioning their worth. They’re measuring their worth against the things they want.

In fact, subconsciously, we decide if we can do something or achieve something based on how much we feel we deserve to have it.

It’s so much a part of our programming that we do it with even the simplest decisions, like whether or not you should eat some ice cream. Did you ever have a 10-minute conversation with yourself coming up with all the reasons why you should eat that chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and then a laundry list of all the reasons why you shouldn’t?

🍦 I ate enough at dinner.
🍦 I have to fit into my dress in 2 weeks.
🍦 I’ve put on 5 pounds this month.
🍦 I’ve eaten junk food all week.

But most of the reasons we come up with for why it is okay to eat the ice cream have to do with worth.

🍦 I worked out all week, so I earned this treat.
🍦 I only had coffee for breakfast, a salad for lunch, and salmon with a side of asparagus for dinner, so I could “afford” a little ice cream.
🍦 I had a rough day, so I deserve to indulge.
🍦 I deserve it, is at the heart of all these reasons.

The truth is, your worth has nothing to do with whether you should eat the ice cream or not.

What if you removed your worth from the equation?

I know this is easier said than done, because we learned a lot of whether or not we deserve something from childhood. For example, if you were a good little boy or girl, you got rewarded and maybe earned a prize. The gift came after you cleaned your room and did all your chores. After you worked hard all day in school, you earned a sticker or saw a few marbles added to the class jar.

But here’s the thing … you’re not a kid anymore, and you no longer have to earn the ice cream or earn the right to raise your prices or publish that book.

What if you just ate the ice cream because you had a craving for it?

What if you raised your prices to be consistent with what others in your industry are charging? Or better yet, you raised them because you wanted to!

And the book … just do it.

Do we need a reason to do something? Do we need to earn everything?

That’s an old model that we learned, but are not required to stick to because it’s not serving you well.

So decide today to retire that invisible “worthiness” measuring stick. You are good enough just as you are. Now you just need to choose to believe it!